Res ipsa loquitur

While I continue to digest the Howard TV production of Gary's first pitch (I am wrestling with the thought of actually giving Doug a compliment here), I thought now would be a great time to revisit one of the biggest black holes in Howard TV. I speak of course about the Howard TV Cameraman who interviews guests pre and post show.

How this position has been this poorly managed is beyond me. Besides Howard this person is the only one with direct access to some of these A-List talents, yet the person working the camera more often than not comes off more like a fan who won a contest rather than a professional broadcaster. Let's take a look the recent Tom Bergeron interview for a great recent example of how poor this interviewing style is. (Tom incidentally had a great interview highlighted by his Three Stooges memories).

We join the scene with Tom leaving the studio and being approached by Mike Wallace.

Cameraman: Tom...

Tom: Well that was virtually painless

Cameraman: How'd it go man?

Ok let's stop right here. This has to be one of my biggest pet peeves about Howard TV. This question is the stock question the guy asks every time someone walks out of the studio. First of all normally we just spent 40 minutes watching the interview, so we as the audience are pretty up on how the interview went. Second when has this question ever gleamed anything beyond a positive answer such as, Howard's fun, or went great. The cameraman is so untalented that Tom basically answered the question for him (virtually painless) but he is such a brainless moron that he can't change his programming mid-stream. You are about to be shocked by Tom's answer here. Also if you are watching this at home, it is great to watch a pro like Bergeron help out this schmuck, but painful at the same time that he's being subjected to the little kids table.

Tom: It went great, he's so good at promoting my book, and the Mike Tyson thing, was killing me.

Camerman: Yeah Howard had a lot of suggestions of people you should have on the show.

Ok first of all not a question, more of a comment right? And how about just using you brain and changing it into an interesting question such as; Howard was throwing some crazy suggestions out for Dancing with the Stars, you think any of them could work? It's the little things that Doug and company don't do. Tom's detention continues...

Tom: As a radio king of all media, as a friend and a promoter of my first book effort, Howard is without parallel. As a Booker for Dancing with the Stars; frightening.

Cameraman: You don't think any of those people are going to get on the show? (laughs nervously) No Mike Tyson? (Continues to laugh as if he told a joke) Octomom?

Notice it takes him two questions just to ask about a basic topic? You'd think the time constraint on the interview might make him consider such problems, but no.

Tom: Octomom!

Cameraman: Now before coming on, did you realize you had so much in common with him?

Three questions or so in and we finally hit upon the first scent of a question.

Tom: Well I knew Howard had done TM, and anyone who had read the book or seen Private Parts knows his background in radio and all that.

Cameramen: He was impressed with the Three Stooges interview?

Again is this a question? Did the cameraman not listen to the interview? Is he kept in some sort of sound proof booth while the show is on? It was the funniest topic maybe of the week, and I would bet playing those tapes on a Howard 100 special would garner huge numbers. So instead of taking the time to maybe probe a bit deeper into the topic, say by asking about how Tom feels about the possibility of a special on Howard 100. Anything but another misplaced question. Tom the pro that he is continues.

Tom: Yeah, the Three Stooges thing, I found more people, Howard and I are the same age, and people who grew up watching the Stooges who really love that story. Cause you know I was 16, and it was a cold call from my parents house, and that they would actually talk to me, let alone give me each other's unlisted phone numbers was pretty cool.

Tom has to rehash the whole story because the cameraman is so inept. Then like a scene from Lost we seem to go back in time.

Cameraman: Alright so you had a good time today?

YES HE FUCKING HAD A GOOD TIME. I am sorry to get all KANYE in my approach here, but what the fuck is he smoking. After all that we are back to the did you have a good time question. Is he a greeter at Disney selling those forced pictures they make you take?

Tom: I had a great time today

Cameraman: Next time, you, ah, need, to ah, know who's banging who on the show for Howard?

Can you imagine Sal asking a guest this type of question? Yes Howard was discussing this with Tom, but he's the King of All Media. He gets a pass. It was nauseating to have to watch Tom questioned about a topic that he seemed uncomfortable discussing even with Howard? Are we to believe this Cameraguy thought he could get more info out of this? Or did he as usual act like he's apart of the show, like he is there to tell jokes. He isn't. Point the camera and use your mind.

Tom: Yeah sure, that's the kind of information I certainly want to disseminate.

Cameraman: Alright Thanks,

This is one of the millions of horrible interviews being done 50 feet away from the King of All Media. I know for a fact Sirius and Howard TV people are reading this site (Did anyone notice after we complained about the poor category titles that there is now a Comedians tab?), so please take this advice. Ban the question "How did it go in there?"?. We know how it went, that's why we spend 10 bucks a month.

Sometimes the thing just speaks for itself.

Still waiting to hear from you Doug....