Lost

Have you ever been lost. I don't mean like pull over and ask a gas station attendant lost. I mean Oceanic 815 Lost. In fact I just returned from a place where you lose all of your senses. A labyrinth created by idiots. I speak of course about the Vault on Howard TV.



I previously discussed the criminal lack of classic E! shows in the vault, but that only touches on the visible part of the iceberg that is the Vault. The real problem with the Vault is the haphazard organization and scheduling of the programming. Allow me to explain. Here are some of the current categories in the Vault.

Girls Girls Girls

Favorite Guests

Fan Favorites

Wacky & Weird

Sexy Fun & Games

Staff Antics



How can anyone actually use these categories to find something? Do I have to read Doug & Gange's mind. Well I wanted to see this evaluation episode, so that's under Girls Girls Girls right? Of course it could be Sexy Fun & Games, but what if its in Fan Favorites? It's my favorite? She wasn't a Favorite Guest, but she was Wacky & Weird.



The end result is you just have to go through each category one at a time because there is no rhyme or reason in placement of shows. The only thing that seems planned is having the shows listed in Alphabetical order. That's all the help Doug thinks you need.



And what if you wanted to search just the new shows added to the Vault? Well good luck there too. There is no mark or category designated to new shows, so you might end up loading that show thinking its new only to realize its the same dreck Doug put up last month.



If you asked Beetlejuice to lay out the Vault he would do a better job. What happens when the Lou Sybian ride hits the Vault? (And you know it will because Doug already has it in the can, so there is no cost dumping it into the Vault in 3 months) Well Lou is one of my Favorite Guests, and a Fan Favorite. He is the definition of Wacky & Weird, and needless to say the game he participated in was Sexy & Fun. So where will Doug put it? Your guess is as good as mine.



The only category I really understand in Staff Antics. We need to separate the Gange related episodes so that all of Mike's fans can easily find them all.



Good luck finding anything in the Vault. It was designed to operate under the least amount of work necessary, not for practicality.



It's a Doug product through and through.